Monday 3 December 2018

BRAPA - November Review / December Preview (2018)



Ho ho ho!  Or is it Bah Humbug?  Well, however you feel about this 'wonderful time of the year', there is one thing that cannot be denied .... as December moves steadily on towards Christmas, pubs are going to get 8.88% shitter (according to offical BRAPA research) as the Twismas Twumper gang block bars up and down the country for their once a year pub visits.  Some won't be able to remember how to observe proper pub etiquette, most will pay by card, some will order mulled wine and cider.  Some might even bring mistletoe, along with their camel toe, whilst singing Mariah Carey in your lughole.  Take care.  And if you find yourself in a nightmarish situation such as this, remember, it could be worse, you could be like me, having to tick every pub in the country on the recommendation/whim of a bunch of faceless bearded beer bores.

So what has BRAPA got planned for the festive season then? 

December Preview

Well, the first cardboard chocolate will have been pushed out of the advent calendar by the time you read this, and I will have completed East Yorkshire, making it the second 'county' from GBG 2019 completed after Central London.  Big thanks to Father BRAPA here for his chauffeuring efforts.  I need to write my blog on those final 4 pubs, but look out for the Board Inn in Bridlington, a late contender for 'pub of the year'.  As for the Marine Hotel in Hornsea though, good grief! 

Christmas spirit is alive in Hornsea
The following week, this coming Saturday in fact, I'm down in London for Millwall away, a real relegation six pointer for the wonderfully inept Hull City.  Guess what the FA Cup Third  Round draw (game on 5th Jan) has just spewed out?  Funny how often things like this happen!  Anyway, Tom Irvin is choosing the pubs this Saturday (8th), in a place that has a special meaning to him.  All will be revealed!

Tom last time I saw him, scaring Brummies
On the 15th, BRAPA man of the year contender Martin Taylor looks to enhance his growing reputation in BRAPA circles with another Cambridgeshire extravaganza.  Meeting him in Ely, I've got unfinished business in Little Downham which dates back to the summer, before hopefully 5 more ticks.

Pub ticking seemed simpler in 1974!
And on the 22nd, I may well be back down Saaaarf for a third consecutive weekend as I have a 'free' train ticket to use up.  Am considering spending half the day in Cambs to take the pressure off my final trip to the country in Jan, perhaps combine with some cheeky Herts or North London pubs later in the day, but the plan is sketchy.

What happens when I brave Hertfordshire alone
Boxing Day sees a car trip to Preston, Lancs, where Hull City are playing.  We'll be linking up with BRAPA legend SeeTheLizards, and taking the 'plunge' at a place called the Plungington Hotel which sounds somewhat 'delightful'. 

Terrifying scenes last time I was in Preston

And on the final Saturday of the month, the 29th, there is fun to be had in Lincoln, which was originally going to be Skegness, then Gainsborough, but eventually became Lincoln itself.  A Newark or Retford bonus isn't beyond the realms of possibility to end the year. 

Lincoln can be lovely if you avoid their football fans
Then join me on New Year's Eve, where I'll buy in a load of party food and colourful cans and do my 'year end awards' ceremony 'LIVE' sort of. 

Not saying I got drunk last New Year's Eve but I had fun
And to supplement this wonderful five Saturday month, I see no reason not to crack on with Friday night West Yorkshire BRAPA.  You see, I'm old, and people have stopped inviting me to parties and gatherings or even 'catch ups'.  And good.  Much rather sit on my own in the corner of a pub with a question mark at the end of it's name in an irritating jumped up West Yorkshire town which is all sweetness and light, lesbians, vegans, ghosts and craft fairs on the surface, but dark Buckfast addicted homeless squalor with locals pushed out, when you scratch beneath.  And that is truly Christmas.

November Review

So how did November go in BRAPA world? 

Well, to say I had zero time off work, and it was a FOUR Saturday month, to achieve 31 ticks was something of an achievement.  30 was my previous record, averaging out at 27, so I was satisfied. 

Highlights?  A great day in Cambs.  Got VERY drunk in St Neots, bit embarrassed in the Olde Sun but never mind, RM the perfect host earlier that day, glad he wasn't with me late on! 

Locals welcome me into the St Neots bosom


A bonus Glasgow trip helped, and nice to see John Depeche Modem in Darlo even if he is the craziest Sussex guy with the gammiest leg you could hope to meet, a lovely chap.

Leg of the month


Birmingham away was a cracking Hull City day, really liked both the Halesowen pubs we did, they couldn't have been any more different in styles but Swan and Fixed Wheel both impressed.

Fixed Wheel won me over due to great staff and beer despite being very not my kinda thing

17th was perhaps my favourite day of the month, when me and Dad did some utterly crazy pubs in the Holderness area of East Yorkshire.  Other wordly was the word, the daytime karaoke in Lelley was jaw dropping even when I think nothing surprises me any more!  The other 4 were all classics.

Lelley lady was an absolute star

Another great day was had in West Yorkshire with work chums, Bradford threw up some crackers, Halifax a tiny bit disappointing after recent amazing trips, but you can't win them all. 

On the swinging seat at the Peacock in Bradford

And I got back on the Friday night trail with some amusing West Yorkshire pubs, though not too much to really excite, most were rather bland. 

The best three going through into the year end awards .....

1.  Chequers, Little Gransden
2. New Royal Mail, Thorngumbald
3. Peacock Bar, Bradford

Mrs Chequers, absolutely great effort from her in a wonderful pub
And the ones I found the least enjoyable (on the day):

1. New Albion, Alverthorpe
2. Raven, Glasgow
3. Alexandra, Halifax / Ale Taster, St Neots

New Albion, just didn't do enough on the night

So plenty to look forward to between now and NYE, take care, and if you feel yourself being pushed out by the Christmas pub goers, remember you were there first!

Si




5 comments:

  1. If you don't make John's gammy leg (it's called Dave) the BRAPA man of the year I'll be very upset. Actually, I'd be upset if I got it, cos I'd feel used. It's your Mum's turn, surely ?


    Go, Chequers.

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  2. "a pub with a question mark at the end of it's name in an irritating jumped up West Yorkshire town which is all sweetness and light, lesbians, vegans, ghosts and craft fairs "


    Is this "Crud ?" the new Greene King-run micro in Richard Coldwell's garden in Clifford ?

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  3. "Some might even bring mistletoe, along with their camel toe, "

    Hopefully they won't have the two in close proximity. ;)

    "Well, the first cardboard chocolate will have been pushed out of the advent calendar by the time you read this,"

    Get with the times man! Over here I've been enjoying an Advent Beer case for at least the past four years.

    http://www.bcliquorstores.com/product/217610

    http://www.bcliquorstores.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/height800px/217610.jpg

    The top of the 24 pack has the numbers 1-24 randomly situated. Starting December 1st, every morning I open the appropriate number, pull out the beer and put it in the fridge for my evening nightcap. :)

    "All will be revealed!"

    Hopefully not like the Full Monty.

    "BRAPA man of the year contender Martin Taylor looks to enhance his growing reputation "

    You're just saying that to ensure he still drives you around. :)

    "and do my 'year end awards' ceremony 'LIVE' sort of. "

    I take it this won't be on YouTube. :)

    "And that is truly Christmas."

    Is your middle name Dickens?

    "Got VERY drunk in St Neots"

    Completely understand. Haven't done it in a while myself but there are days when 8 or more pints is child's play; and then you get those days when 5 pints will have you becoming the life of the party.

    "Leg of the month"

    I still think that could be very very good makeup/special effects. :)

    "when me and Dad did some utterly crazy pubs"

    Extra special when it's just the two of you.

    Cheers

    PS - "with a question mark at the end of it's name"

    And with luck devoid of apostrophes (cough). ;)

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    Replies
    1. Amazing! Actually, a lady a work has a gin advent calendar on her desk, she must be a right mess!

      Beer in the fridge? Where do you think we are Russ? Canada?

      Martin doesn't want BRAPA person of the year, so I'll have to invent him an award so he wins something else, like the David Jason of BRAPA.

      Delete
    2. "Amazing! Actually, a lady a work has a gin advent calendar on her desk, she must be a right mess! "

      You're only supposed to drink one per day, not the entire 24! (LOL)

      "Beer in the fridge? Where do you think we are Russ? Canada?"

      I should point out it's my beer fridge (just beer) so I try to keep it at about 7C. :)

      Cheers

      Delete