Monday 19 April 2021

BRAPA is .... STUCK BETWEEN STATIONS

 

There are nights when I think that RetiredMartin was right.  Pub tickers in America. It would be such a difficult endeavour.

Logging off my laptop at 4pm in York, I can be on a train in just over 7 minutes, be in Doncaster 20 minutes later, and after a 2 minute walk to the bus interchange, be in some rural out-in-the-sticks location a few minutes after that.  27.5 minute pint, nice and relaxed, and I can be back home sober with enough motivation and energy for a nice healthy Sicilian style sausage spaghetti concoction. 


But America is so big, that if you logged off your laptop at 4pm in suburban Minneapolis and your nearest tick is the Faultline Tap & Waffle House in San Luis Abispo,  odds against that you'll make it home by 8pm for your pizza pie, double fries and triple cheeseburger with twelve salted caramel doughnut dessert.  I hope that is an accurate representation of what the average American eats.  Correct me if I'm wrong.   I think I forgot the melted Monterey jack.  

Next week, I'll tell you about how to tick the Moomin Tavern in north Finland and Santa's Christmas Inn at the North Pole on the same night.  

Moo-min

Anyway, by last Thursday I was restless once more despite my ongoing claims that outdoor pub ticking is not something BRAPA would wholeheartedly embrace.  I had a strong desire to moo-ove (thanks) and see if I could capture another South Yorkshire pub tick without booking.  

Fellow pub-ticker Eddie Fogden (he's younger than me, but has done 500 GBG ticks more but doesn't make it into a three act tragedy like I do) had read my mind, and asked when I was doing the Station, Blaxton.  The answer was 'tonight'.  He said he'd join me.

The key point in the journey I described earlier was managing to get the 17:01 57f bus rather than wait for the 17:31 one.  I saw it quite by chance, expecting it to depart from stand A1, it was actually at A4.  Bustimes.org had lied to me. 

15 minutes into the bus ride, I realise Eddie is one of my fellow 4 passengers on the bus.  After all, he is the King of Hi-Vis and has worn it on each occasion I've seen him (Parcel Yard twice, Volunteer Arms in York, train from London) but it wasn't until he craned his neck curiously in the direction of Auckley's Eagle & Child that I realised Eddie was in fact Eddie.  

I crept up behind him, said boo, and we had a socially distanced masked chat.  He was off to do a post-emptive tick first, the Harvey Arms, Finningley, which had appeared in an old GBG I don't care about.  He'd catch me up, so I said 'farewell for now' pressed the little bell, and hopped off at Blaxton, saluted, and walked down towards the pub, and that is where the above cow at the garden centre was situated.

When the pub came into view, I liked how its colour scheme seemed to resemble Hull City's 1998/99 kit.  Had Mark Hateley's head popped out from an upstairs window, it wouldn't have seemed at all weird.


Uncanny isn't it?

Station, Blaxton (1737 / 3166) and with the clear blue skies, sun, and the fact that Doncaster folk are far too hardy to feel a 'chilly wind', it was no surprise to see the place bustling.  Time to employ BRAPA tactics and do something I know I'm not allowed to do, step indoors.  Two reasons for this, I like to 'announce' my arrival so the staff know I want a pint.  And also so I can say I've been inside (I could spy the bar in the background) and had my feet on the floorboards/carpet/slate/16th century tiling.  Sure enough, three alarmed young ladies swarmed round me like masked wasps, I ask 'wot iz occurring?', and they tell me quite predictably that if I sit down outside, someone will (eventually) serve me. 24 tables are available outside this pub.   Only 2 were left (thank goodness I didn't come on the Friday!), one wedged dead centre between a gang of six young gin drinkers, a stretched out sleeping dog, and two pizza lads.  This looked very unappealing.  So I went far end, on some 3G 'grass' that would make the Falkirk Stadium blush.  Next to a play area.  Behind me, a possible bus ticker sipped Guinness and 'red penned' a notebook.  Beyond me, a lairy business man with a pressed white shirt amused his lady friend with bawdy tales from Bawtry.  Problem was, the staff never got as far as me without being summoned.  Stranded.  No drink.  No way of getting their attention.  And the whole bloody pub could see my predicament!    "You never get anywhere in life being pleasant mate!" said Mr White Shirt eventually, when I say I could see how busy the staff were and I didn't want to go over and pressure them!  He's right though.  Was a bit lame of me.  "See these little plants on the tables?" he continues, warming to his task,  "They are not for decoration, in Doncaster we throw them at the staff to get their attention, ha ha hee hee ho!"  His lady friend hits him playfully in the arm (I bet he's a perfect gentleman underneath the bravado, I got that impression).  Finally a staff member comes over.  I ask what the real ale situation is.  "We just have one on, 'guest beer'" she tells me mysteriously.  I ask what it is.  'Hmmm, shall I go and find out?' she asks.  I practically plead with her "NO, DON'T LEAVE ME, I MIGHT NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!" and I order one for Eddie as well who is pretty much finished in Finningley.  Another interminable wait for said pints to appear, when they do, I have been sat here 20 minutes!  Lockdown ticking.  It can be limiting.  More curious glances from those around (say what you like about Donny, but people are interested in their fellow man) thinking I've strategically ordered myself two.  Eddie arrives right on cue, the mystery ale is delicious we both agree, he does the highlighting but confirms my worst fears, the green Stabilo is nearly out of ink!  What trauma, but ultimately worth it for another good tick in the right direction.





The buses and trains go like clockwork (we even get a double decker bus back to Donny, which excites Eddie more than me) and I'm back home for a very reasonable hour.  

13 more South Yorkshire pubs to go, and I know at least 5 of them are open so who knows, there may be more similar after work midweek trips in the coming weeks, but the thought of doing this kind of stuff on a Friday night, weekend or Bank Holiday still doesn't entice.  We'll see.  1737 means I am only six away from my 2019 tally, 164 off my 2020 figure.  The struggle is real!

Thanks very much for reading, roll on 17th May.

Si

6 comments:

  1. LOL. You're not far off on the food intake Simon! One helluva drive too.

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  2. " Pub tickers in America. It would be such a difficult endeavour."

    If only due to the distance!

    My darling wife is 'oop north' till I see her as we head into camp in mid-May. She plans on visiting family for the summer each time when we come out of camp for our break. I just checked Google Maps and, even after being flown out of camp it will take her 11 hours of driving to visit her cousin in Atlin!
    (and if she drove home it would take her at least 22 hours!).

    "But America is so big, that if you logged off your laptop at 4pm in suburban Minneapolis and your nearest tick is the Faultline Tap & Waffle House in San Luis Abispo, odds against that you'll make it home by 8pm"

    It's a 31 hour drive from Minneapolis to San Luis Abispo. And I won't even comment on your culinary guess! :)

    "Next week, I'll tell you about how to tick the Moomin Tavern in north Finland and Santa's Christmas Inn at the North Pole on the same night."

    (slow golf clap)

    "I had a strong desire to moo-ove (thanks)"

    That comment certainly moo-oved me!
    (to the loo if you must know)

    "but doesn't make it into a three act tragedy like I do"

    Does anyone? ;)

    "The key point in the journey I described earlier was managing to get the 17:01 57f bus rather than wait for the 17:31 one. I saw it quite by chance, expecting it to depart from stand A1, it was actually at A4. Bustimes.org had lied to me. "

    Horrors!

    "I crept up behind him, said boo, and we had a socially distanced masked chat. "

    Did you have to resort to sign lanuage?

    "Uncanny isn't it?"

    I should have used that as my pub colours!

    "Two reasons for this, I like to 'announce' my arrival so the staff know I want a pint. And also so I can say I've been inside"

    Cunning. Devious even!

    " Behind me, a possible bus ticker sipped Guinness and 'red penned' a notebook."

    Definitely not a GBG type.

    "And the whole bloody pub could see my predicament! "

    And never offered to point you out to the next staff member who came near them. Sheesh

    "He's right though. Was a bit lame of me."

    True but, if you'd gone in search, you may have lost your table!

    " Another interminable wait for said pints to appear, when they do, I have been sat here 20 minutes! "

    Blimey. No wonder you lot aren't fans of table service.

    "What trauma, but ultimately worth it for another good tick in the right direction."

    Doesn't take much to please us these days. :)

    "13 more South Yorkshire pubs to go, and I know at least 5 of them are open so who knows, there may be more similar after work midweek trips in the coming weeks,"

    It's within reach!
    (and doing one like that once a week isn't a bad idea)

    "Thanks very much for reading, roll on 17th May."

    Yep! But a bit different for me than you. ;)

    Cheers

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  3. “I hope that is an accurate representation of what the average American eats. Correct me if I'm wrong.”
    That’s just the appetizer...

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  4. Yes, apart from in the big cities, America doesn't really do public transport.

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  5. You're even beating me to South Yorkshire ticks when I live here now, Simon, cheeky sod. Beat you to one in rural Kent at the weekend though.

    How does Eddie do it ? Does it count if he doesn't blog ?

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  6. Stung by your intrusion into my territory, I made it here on Sunday and can confirm the accuracy of your report.

    Having been instructed to sit by a swarm of "servers" we were also ignored for ages and I had to venture inside for a second time to get service.

    Table service disgusts me.

    ReplyDelete