Friday, 1 January 2021

BRAPA 2020 REVIEW


Happy New Year!  

Well, how do you describe THAT year from the perspective of someone who's lifelong mission is to visit every pub in the Good Beer Guide?  

Fortitude, adaptability, a sense of humour - all skills you must hone if you are to make a go of this ticking lark, but 2020 certainly threw the curviest curvy ball that not even the most pessimistic of us could have foreseen. 

So sit back with a bottle of something strong, and help me try and make sense of it all.  We will have star pubs, star people, the songs that got me through, and 'worst' awards if I can remember.  I'm drinking quite heavily as I write, so this blog might go downhill / uphill as it progresses. 

January : Bleak Beginnings

First pub of the year, but I wouldn't be smiling for long

Looking back with hindsight, New Year's Day 2020 proved to be symbolic of the entire year.  I described it as 'the worst day in BRAPA history' later that evening.  I was with the long suffering Daddy BRAPA and Tom Irvin in Sheffield.  At various points in the day, all three of us fell ill.  Three consecutive pubs were shut.  Doncaster had to save us.  How tragic is that?  I returned to York with my tail between my legs, TWO ticks done, and to add insult to injury, York Tap was shut at 5pm. 

Solace came in the form of the wonderful Brigantes, and the news that Hull City's win at Sheffield Wednesday (we didn't go to the match) had propelled us to the edge of the playoffs.  Party on!

If you'd have told me right there and then that seven months on, Hull City would be relegated and Brigantes would be closed for good, I'd never have believed you.  

January continued with a gloomy cloud hovering above everything I did BRAPA-wise, I either felt like I was catching a virus (not that one!) or the pub days just weren't quite flowing.  On the way back from Lancaster on 11th, one of my work chums was nearly arrested following a skirmish on the train home!  Closest police encounter since THAT Newark incident, which we don't talk about.

The spell was finally broken a week later, as Dad took me on an epic overnighter to Cockermouth.  We got off to a slow start (Gilcrux Caravan park closed, bloody boo!) but the pub that triggered better fortunes was just around the corner, the magical Bush Inn, Tallentire.  


It looked dead to the world when we arrived in the darkest village in England at 5:59pm on a Saturday evening, but it burst into live bang on 6pm, the lovely old couple were welcoming, stout fantastic, and what a difficult tick it was to get done!  

That broke the spell, and everything seemed easier after that.  Only one sad moment, as BRAPA mascot Martin the Owl flew the nest into the dark Cockermouth night.  Was I drunk and irresponsible in losing him?  No comment.  He would, as it turned out, be VERY easily replaced in July.  Martin the Who?  

So which one of these likely Cockermouth suspects pinched Martin?

The month ended strongly though, almost like BRAPA doesn't need a mascot.  Ooops.  

Farewell Martin.  Here he is quaffing murk in Ulverston



Pub of the Month - Tap & Spile, Framwellgate Moor, Durham

Song of the Month - Against Me! - Miami

People in the news kept banging on about this Chinese virus thing.  Boy licks bat in wet market, or something.  Yawn.  Not really listening.  Won't affect me will it?  Sensationalist nonsense.

February

Feb began with a bang at my friend Christine's fantastic birthday celebrations in Barton on Humber where I got to meet pub ticking legend, Duncan Mackay.  Look at his little face .....


From the same day, Tom Irvin requests I put the milk-wielding barmaid at Driffield's Benjamin Fawcett forward for 'BRAPA Brunette of the Year' but we are too woke for that kind of thing, so instead nominate Tom for BRAPA quote of the year when he loudly announced 'I like Boyes' as we marched down Driffield High Street.

My quest to get Cumbria, Northumberland, Durham and Tyne & Wear all completed by the new GBG coming out end of August was going well.  What could possibly stop me?  

Meanwhile, the news KEPT on banging on about this 'Coronavirus' thing.  Jeez, give it a rest.  As my workmate Emily said at the end of the month "I'm soooooo over this Corona business".  "I'm hearing you bae, preach" I replied, trying to sound like a twentysomething, before making a salient point about it keeping Brexit out of the headlines at least.

Wanna see a pub of the month?  Okay.


Pub of the Month - 1B Tap, Great Harwood

Song of the Month - The Pears - Comfortably Dumb


March Mayhem

March started fairly well.  The OG squad of myself, Dad and Tom found ourselves in Lichfield on 7th.  It was a great day.  Cathedral, pubs, town/city - top day out.  I recommend.

Wetherspoons decided to try and be responsible, and joined in the recent media clamour for us all to keep washing our hands whilst singing happy birthday twice.  This Corona shit was getting real.    


That was from the bogs in Mere Green, wherever that is.  Once in Lichfield itself, we could forget about this virus talk as none of the pubs there had signs up, and the locals were a friendly bunch, happy to lick the faces of any day-trippers from York or Grimsby.  

By the Bitter Suite, I was a tiny bit drunk so can't tell you much about it, other than it'd be the last GBG pub I'd visit for over 4 months, whaaaaaaaat?!!?!


The following Tuesday, work moved those of who commuted into L**ds from far away to 'THE BASEMENT'.  I felt like a leper, with better skin,  Was hard to know whether bank were overreacting to all this Corona stuff or were, as we learnt to say 'ahead of the curve'.

Didn't bother me, I was off to Lanzarote with parents two days later for a timely break in the sun.  Sad to miss a week or two BRAPA but frankly, I was ready for a holiday. 

No question of holiday being cancelled, no questions at the airport, at either end.  It was only when our 'man' Pablo Pedro drove us to our resort, there was a bit of cheeky Corona bantz   i.e. "You English filth spreading your Covid germs over here"  "Ohhh, why don't you go and cruelly murder a bull for fun you horrible Paella eating monster?!"  All in good humour.    

Dad and I got out for a couple of drinks on the Friday  I'll let you decide what we enjoyed most out of these ........

 



On the Sunday, I was sat on a sun lounger eating toblerone, drinking supermarket own brand lager, designing LAPA (Lanzarote Ale Pub Adventure) and had just had the 'difficult' conversation (not that one) with the parents where I'd be leaving them to get some pubs (well, bars) ticked off ........

Well you can't keep a good ticker down

.... when my phone pinged, and it was Pablo Pedro telling us to STAY INDOORS.  Yes, Spain had been 'locked down' last night, and we could only leave the villa to get supermarket essentials.  Before we knew, police were up and down with loud hailers, weird robotic American voices telling us to remain inside.  Police tape was stuck all around like some crime scene.  Woah, kinda scarey! 

"Essentials"

Not a bad temporary prison

Back home, my sister was telling us the news in the UK was less clear.  People were told they shouldn't go to pubs, but the pubs were still open!  How weird.  I was due to go to Appleby's Midland Hotel the following Saturday, they were still open according to their Facebook with jokey blackboards up about refusing to be beaten, but should I really travel up there?  

Once back in the UK, our taxi driver, with all the eloquence of a West End stage veteran, declares in maudlin tones "you are returning to a very different country from the one you departed a week ago".  He wasn't kidding, I went to try and buy milk from Sainsbury's at midnight, it was like a zombie apocalypse.  I grabbed the last crusty 2 litre bottle stuck to the shelf bottom.

Bozo and his mates made my Appleby decision for me the following day, Friday 20th, pubs WOULD be locked down from midnight tonight.  Everyone went on the piss obviously.  I stayed in and ate more Toblerone, my new drug of choice.

Pub of the Month - Horse & Jockey, Lichfield
Song of the Month -  Cobra Skulls - Cobra Skull Lockdown

MARCH 20th - July 3rd : LOCKDOWN

So, it was now a case of 'what to do with myself' as safe to say my leisure time revolves around BRAPA, though Hull City were cancelled too, that was kind of a blessing.  'Neighbours' might be the best programme on TV, and the Twitter community might be amazing, but alone, an Aussie soap most people haven't watched since the 90's isn't gonna satisfy me alone.

Enter #SADCASE ..... Si's Ale and Dice Cleaning Adventure Social Exclusion. I'd roll a dice to determine what beer I was drinking whilst cleaning a random item in my flat.  It proved a cult hit!  Young's Brewery even said it was genius.  I could never roll a '1' to get rid of that Marston's Pedigree, but hey ho.  

Here's the highlights you never asked to see ........





By the end of May, it'd become a bit old hat.  Something slightly unsatisfactory about drinking beer at home rather than pub, probably an unpopular opinion but there you go.

What if I could create something a bit more indulgent, but also with a bit of a weird, mad, dice theme?  Yes!  #WWWSI (Wine, Western, Wotsits Staying In!) was formed, and if you follow my alternative Twitter account, you'll know all about it you poor buggers.

It's been a godsend, not just through June of that first lockdown, but this recent November/December period of misery.  Loved discovering Westerns, loved learning a bit more about red wine, a much more satisfying home drink, and eating Wotsits and exciting food, well that goes without saying.  Broadened my horizons in the most frivolous of ways.

Here's some highlights you never asked to see:


 



PUBS OF THE MONTH - N/A

BAND OF THE MONTH (APRIL) - THE REPLACEMENTS

BAND OF THE MONTH (MAY) - RED CITY RADIO

BAND OF THE MONTH (JUNE) - TOY DOLLS

July

July 4th was the day on all pub lovers calendars.  Excitement was mounting.  The mood on Twitter feverish.  "I'm staying in with my Camden Pale and hot water bottle" declared a load of CAMRA branch chairmen called Geoff & Neil up and down the land, and you weren't allowed to criticise them cos it was THEIR CHOICE.

Soon, the overly cautious and serial bed wetters, spurred on by the media who hate pubs, were declaring July 4th as a likely manic combination of the Friday before Christmas combined with England winning a football world cup.  

Those of us a bit more long in the tooth re pubbing things (I'm counting myself in this category!) suspected it might all be a bit of damp squib.  And so it proved.

I wasn't QUITE confident enough to make a full-on BRAPA return, so kept it local, and my 'return' at the unfashionable Mount in York at 10:05am will live long in the memory.  The pure joy on the punters faces, that first taste again of real beer in a pub, the appreciation for the hard work the staff have put in to create a pleasant yet safe environment.  I felt so happy.  Glad to be back.

Queuing for first pint back

The experience was replicated in two more pubs, and a week later, BRAPA returned at the Colley Rowe Inn, Colley Row, East London.  I kept it Wetherspoons, as they were strangely geared up for such a socially distanced pub experience long before Covid hit with their wonderful App etc, which am sure isn't suspicious in any way! 

All this Colley talk seemed a great time to give a 'debut' to new BRAPA mascot, Colin the Cauliflower, who has now become more popular than me, the baaarstard.  I can see us developing a Rod Hull/Emu style relationship as the years progress, before he pushes me off the roof as I go to fix the Sky box. 

Colin makes his debut down in East London

To celebrate the return of pubs, July concluded with an epic NINE day crawl of Surrey, where I got round the vast majority of GBG pubs, pint in each, two in some, I felt dead by the end but happy.

Big thanks to one of our #PubMen of the year, Ed Wray, for helping me get about on two different occasions.  Here's some highlights.

Crossways Inn, Churt

Outside with Ed and Colin at a pub with phantom llamas

The majestic Jolly Farmers at Bramley

PUB OF THE MONTH - JOLLY FARMERS, BRAMLEY

SONG OF THE MONTH - AURORS FIGHT, TONKS & THE AURORS

August

I was still in August in early Surrey (Surrey in early August?) , and desperate to make hay while the sun shone in those bright, summer days.

Of course, pub restrictions were still in place, but when people talked of a second wave in the winter, I merely scoffed.  "Covid?  Completed it mate!"  

I say that, but I deliberately chose to do my pub ticking in the south east where cases were lower.

Two days stood out.  The 15th, I met another #PubMan of the year, probably THE #Pubman of the year if you put me on the fence, Citra.  The beer was very modern, the drinking receptacle upsetting, and I got a bit drunk


Two weeks later, another lovely chap, called Jon C, took me round his hometown of Tonbridge on a rare trip to Kent, another place that never seemed to have Covid cases til I went ticking there.  Don't stare at the 'Spoons carpet too long.


PUB OF THE MONTH - BLYTHE HILL TAVERN, FOREST HILL

SONG OF THE MONTH - NANCY SINATRA & LEE HAZLEWOOD - SUMMER WINE

Blythe Hill Tavern - something very special 

September

I was back in a nice rhythm by now, every Saturday on the early train down to London, before tackling 5 or 6 GBG pubs, before a nice soothing restorative pint of ESB in the Parcel Yard before the train back north.


I was even able to get up to Durham once or twice, picking up where I'd left off before the first lockdown:

Seaham locals almost definitely delighted to see me in their pub

Back in Kent, I accidentally had drunk 6 pints by 3pm, and wasn't on train back til 9pm.  Rumours I woke up on a beach between Oban and Brora have never been proved.  

By 26th September though, the 'breaks' had been put on again and on a rare trip to Northants, I now had to wear a facemask at all times whilst stood up in the pub.  There was no going to the bar.  And you had to check in on this NHS App.  It was all a bit of a rigmarole, enough to test the resolve of the pub goer, but compared with what would come, well, I'd be happy to go back to those days now!  

The excellent Piper in Kettering, first tick under slightly tighter new measures

PUB OF THE MONTH - HOP INN, HORNCHURCH
SONG OF THE MONTH - ANITA BLAY - DOIN' IT WRONG

Colin meets Wee Irish Man at pre-emptive of the year Hop Inn


October

Yes, with the pubby landscape growing bleaker by the week as the autumn leaves started to fall like Covid victims, only one thing for it, another big blowout BRAPA pub holiday whilst I had the chance.

It was time to give Hampshire a whirl, a new county for me.  I stayed in Basingstoke which was a funny town, met back up with our old mate Citra a couple of times, and had quite a fantastic time.




I was also making great progress with the south of Essex, and by the end of the month, I'd greened that whole section off from Southend to Brentwood.  SUCH a friendly place, and probably the county that most seems to have overcome Covid restrictions to create the most authentic pub experiences going.  A rare feat for 2020.  Essex, my county of the month and hopefully more to come in 2021.  Bring on Saffron Walden and Andrewsfield Airport!

Golden Lion, Rochford

Railway Hotel, Southend

Theobald Arms, Grays

Traitors Gate, Little Thurrock

Victoria Arms, Brentwood

October had the added 'thrill' of the understandably delayed 2021 Good Beer Guide release mid month to us privilege scheme lovelies.  I ticked it in 4 days.  A record!  Martin Taylor still beat me though to the declaration, grrrr.  Was like Newcastle v Sunderland in the election results.  Maybe next year?  

I can't believe THAT pub is in again!


PUB OF THE MONTH - Plough Inn, Little London

SONG OF THE MONTH - The Go Set - 5am


NOVEMBER

But as I'd sat outdoors in chilly GBG debutant 'Spoons Goldengrove in Stratford at 6pm on 31st October, Boris was addressing the nation to say there'd be one month lockdown starting from 5th November, not a full lockdown you understand, just one designed at punishing the hospitality industry when everyone knows they aren't the main cause of rise in cases!  

At least I was luckily enough to be in Tier 2 North Yorkshire, many people by now were in Tier 3 so nothing was open anyway.  So I took advantage and did a mad dash, three night after work to squeeze in 8 pubs before lockdown hit again. 

I accidentally deleted all my photos so here's my old cat Jasper getting to know some Barbie dolls


PUB OF THE MONTH - DISAPPEARING CHIN, HARROGATE

SONG OF THE MONTH - BOMB THE MUSIC INDUSTRY - THE SHIT THAT YOU HATE

Fed up by now, at least I had my wine & wotsits.

December

December 2nd saw stuff open up again, but not really!   The goalposts had moved for Tier 2 people.  If you wanted a drink in a pub now, you had to have an accompanying meal.  Insane.

Now, I have huge respect for those tickers who'll go to several tier 2 pubs and have a meal in each, but it isn't for me.  This isn't what I signed up for when BRAPA started.  When you have to eat food, is it even right to call it a pub at all?  Or is it just a glorified restaurant?  This could be the beer talking, I am quite drunk by now.  I've realised for some people, the 'tick' is everything, but for me, I have to have some kind of pub experience I can enjoy, hate, or at least feel.  Does that make sense? 

So yeah, you'd have to go to Tier 1 to get drink only, and that wasn't easy.  I did manage 13 ticks in December, but didn't publicise it despite not technically breaking any laws probably.  I'll do a blog on them probably in the spring time when the dust has settled.  Here's a preview ......




Then of course, we got towards Christmas and things seemed worse than EVER with new strains etc.  Oh well, at least vaccines are on the way.  I honestly would prefer them to stop dicking around with these tier systems which in my opinion are flawed (cos everyone just gravitates to the lower tiers if they wanna trip out) and if they are gonna shut pubs, put full country into lockdown Jan n Feb (inc schools, football, everything like back in March-June), see this damn thing off once and for all, reopen everything at Tier Zero level on 1st March.  Let pub tickers jump queue for vaccine as it is our duty to be out and about.  And stop making pubs scapegoats.  Optimistic?  Probably!  This beer is good.  Time for bed.

I did a grand total of 258 new pubs, which is EXACTLY the same number as my debut BRAPA year in 2014, so when you put it like that, not too bad.  I did do 450 in 2019 though!  

Thanks for reading, Si  






12 comments:

  1. A fragmented year but still some good bits. I'm guessing we won't be meeting up in Feb unless things change dramatically but looking forward to it at some point. Happy New Year.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're right Citra, Simon managed to get some positive bits from the year and rightly so.

    I'd be up for a threesome when Si is allowed to get to Winchester; Colin the Cauliflower, Baa Baa Toure and your own mascot (probably a squirrel ?).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure I can find something stuffed, other than that I'll have to make do with Big Steve.

      Delete
  3. "Let pub tickers jump queue for vaccine as it is our duty to be out and about. And stop making pubs scapegoats."

    Spot on as always.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have no recollection of by ill on New Years Day, though I think I was practically incapable of walking, something which, like the year was a sign of things to come. To be fair, the Shalesmoor Welly is superb, as is the Gardeners.

    The brunette award is a requirement of the BRAPA Code of Conduct. I deny all other non woke behaviour.
    Very well done on 13 December pubs. Even if you have gone to one of the Covid League Division One areas, as a Covid League Division 2 resident it is clear to me that you haven't broken the letter or the spirit of the guidelines, let alone the law.

    Pub tickers and people who actually contribute to the economy should be vaccinated early. As we play Boris' real life game of whack-a-mole, there will surely be opportunity for such people to go to the boozer.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Happy New Year! "

    A bit late to the party but... back at ya!

    "Well, how do you describe THAT year from the perspective of someone who's lifelong mission is to visit every pub in the Good Beer Guide?"

    As Monty Python would say... a boot to the groin and a dagger up the clitoris?

    "but 2020 certainly threw the curviest curvy ball that not even the most pessimistic of us could have foreseen. "

    Too bloody right mate!

    "So sit back with a bottle of something strong"

    Hang on!
    (finishes his 5.5% bitter and pours a 10.5% Belgian style quadruple)

    "as Dad took me on an epic overnighter to Cockermouth."

    Here's me being all decorous and the like. :)

    "the magical Bush Inn"

    Wait... the Bush Inn, in Cockermouth?
    (falls over laughing too hard)

    "So which one of these likely Cockermouth suspects pinched Martin?"

    More like, um, 'WHO', pinched Martin? ;)

    "Look at his little face ....."

    Which looks 50% bigger than yours. :)

    "Wetherspoons decided to try and be responsible, and joined in the recent media clamour for us all to keep washing our hands whilst singing happy birthday twice."

    One word... gloves.

    "or were, as we learnt to say 'ahead of the curve'."

    Ah yes... the two weeks to flatten the curve, that has lasted over 9 bloody months!

    "I'll let you decide what we enjoyed most out of these ........"

    I hear (from my brother in France) that Stella is really good outside of Belgium. Only because no one in Belgium falls for their marketing! :)

    "and had just had the 'difficult' conversation (not that one) with the parents"

    (slow golf clap)

    "Woah, kinda scarey! "

    And the nightmare hasn't bloody ended yet.

    "I grabbed the last crusty 2 litre bottle stuck to the shelf bottom."

    Little known fact. If you'd left the milk for another 3 days, you could have squeezed it into toilet paper! ;)

    "I'd roll a dice to determine what beer I was drinking whilst cleaning a random item in my flat."

    You could turn that into an RPG video game!

    "Something slightly unsatisfactory about drinking beer at home rather than pub, probably an unpopular opinion but there you go."

    Steady on!
    (he said whilst sipping his 10.5% Belgian style quadruple at home)*
    *- not in his underpants

    "(Wine, Western, Wotsits Staying In!)"

    *cough*

    Lonesome Dove

    "July 4th was the day on all pub lovers calendars. "

    Ironic in a way since that's the American Independence Day. ;)

    "which am sure isn't suspicious in any way! "

    Welcome to our world (the over 50 club). :)

    "Outside with Ed and Colin at a pub with phantom llamas"

    Which one's Colin again?

    "and I got a bit drunk"

    Blimey! That there says it was an odd year indeed! ;)

    "Don't stare at the 'Spoons carpet too long."

    I almost fell out of my chair doing that!
    (the few beers I've had may have attributed to said partial vertigo)

    "efore a nice soothing restorative pint of ESB in the Parcel Yard before the train back north."

    That sounds heavenly to be honest.

    "Seaham locals almost definitely delighted to see me in their pub"
    (avoids commenting on his belly and her chest) ;)

    Cheers!

    PS - I went over the word limit! Tried to delete stuff but it wasn't working so... sod it! Cut it in half and will post part 2 below. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Part 2:
      ========


      "The excellent Piper in Kettering, first tick under slightly tighter new measures"

      Those stupid blue lines look like the strike zones on baseball. (sigh)

      "met back up with our old mate Citra a couple of times"

      He's a good man that Citra.
      (heart of gold I hear) :)

      "and Andrewsfield Airport!"

      Is that the one where the CAMRA pub is on the wings of a plane that may or may not be there?

      "Traitors Gate, Little Thurrock"

      That fellow in the foreground rolled his arm in the carpet before the ink dried, right?

      "not a full lockdown you understand, just one designed at punishing the hospitality industry when everyone knows they aren't the main cause of rise in cases! "

      After what's been going on I'd believe Boris (and other world government officials) are really Lizard men from outer space.

      "Fed up by now, at least I had my wine & wotsits."

      And Westerns! :)

      "I've realised for some people, the 'tick' is everything, but for me, I have to have some kind of pub experience I can enjoy, hate, or at least feel. Does that make sense? "

      Absolutely, 100%. What's a pub if you can't have a 'quick half' or just sup a pint in the corner whilst watching the quirkiness around you?*

      * - which seems to happen whenever you're near :)

      "(cos everyone just gravitates to the lower tiers if they wanna trip out)"

      Good point, but... aren't you all in Super Secret Tier 5 now? (sigh)

      Two words... herd immunity.

      Or, maybe, protect the vulnerable? Heck, the average age of death for Covid is ABOVE the average of death for everyone! Something to ponder.

      Cheers!

      Oh, and take vitamin D3 daily! (really!)

      Phew!

      Cheers

      Delete
    2. "He's a good man that Citra.
      (heart of gold I hear) :)"
      😁
      If that were true , I would have sold it years ago.

      Delete
    3. "If that were true , I would have sold it years ago."

      See! A man after my own heart. ��

      Cheers!

      Delete
    4. Bugger. Copied your smiley face but it came out as 2 diamonds for me.

      Delete
    5. Quite appropriate, Russ. Colin and Si are both proper diamonds !

      #StillMissingBRAPA

      Delete