BRAPA - Waiting for the Hammer(smith) to Fall

Freddie definitely on the Pride

Seems strange, all these Hull City away days at places like Brentford, QPR, Chelsea and Fulham over the last few years, and never once have I thought to tick the three pubs in Hammersmith before!  Chiswick, Brentford, Paddington, even little bits of Ealing and Acton, have all fallen, but never Hammersmith which let's face it, even in terms of London's wonderful transport options, is one of the easier places to 'tick'.

Today was prime NFFD (Non Football Football day) with both myself and Dad deciding we just weren't 'feeling' yet another trip to the brilliant Griffin Park, even if Brentford were below us in the league and are form had been pretty decent recently.  Not like we were gonna get stuffed was it?

We had BRAPA-guest royalty with us in the form of Tom Irvin, his father Chris and Christine 'Chrissy' Andrew of North East Lincs CAMRA (not TWAMRA) fame.   Our first pub, a Wetherspoons, as is so often the case on such days, didn't look anything like a 'Spoons, more like a bright shiny bar attached to a Holiday Inn.  How quaint?  Well, not really.

1520 / 2490.  Plough & Harrow, Hammersmith

Oh this just won't do at all(!)   Light, airy, smell of what's that .... 'cleanliness'?  Staff motivated to serve you.  A bright red wall.  An almost hushed atmosphere.  No huge morning rush for breakfasts and hot drink re-fills.  No sticky tables?  An almost tasteful carpet?  Okay, okay, I jest .... as you should know by now, I'll defend the 'Spoons chain against the 'haters' but this was quite different.  I'd almost feel short changed and if it wasn't for the fact I used FOUR 50p off vouchers (a record for one sitting) to get a round for £7.40, in London!  And the ale quality was excellent, a red rye style ale from Twickenham chosen cos it looked a bit 'you're gettin' mauled by the Tigers (grrrrrrowllll)' on the pump clip.  We sat down at posing tables with our three buddies, joking that since my appearance on Radio Solent that I'm too famous to be drinking with the likes of them.  By the way, 96.1 or 103.8 FM, Steve Harris, no better way to enjoy your tea n toast first thing.  Sorry, I digress, yeh there were a few blokes with characterful faces who appeared but other than that, you could almost be unaware you were even in a 'Spoons.  Good job I ain't invented a bingo card for them (yet.....)

Next, we went under a subway and found ourselves by the river.  I did spy a great looking pub but not in the GBG so of course, it MUST have something wrong with it .......

Anyway, it was all very beautiful on another glorious spring-like morning as we finally got within sight of our pub down a narrow side street, bit like going to the Ackhorne in York.......

1521 / 2491.  Dove, Hammersmith

Well here we go, I'd actually heard of this pub so it must be quite a famous one.  Had I come in at a different time of day, I may well have experienced something quite horrifically dining judging by the laid out tables and recent testament from Martin Taylor and Tim Thomas, so I was delighted to have experienced it in all its glory today, being as it was, still before 12 noon.  The pumps were facing inward towards the bar (the first indication of how small the pub actually is) and a fantastically friendly and helpful barmaid got us all a Dark Star Hophead (and a blackcurrant for the Tom).  Although this was a Fullers pub and I keep seeing Hophead in their pubs, she emphatically told us Fullers don't make it now and it's still in Brighton which I guess is something!   We meandered up some steps into the outdoor area (again had the weather been not so grand, we couldn't have experienced this) and sat overlooking the River Thames, and That London as a whole, quite spectacular.  Cambridge University were practising for the boat race, it seemed to upset Tom who chanted something rude and confusing at them.    Can't remember what we talked about, probably Hull City, but Dylan Thomas, Alec Guinness, Ernest Hemingway, and now Tom Irvin, this pub really has seen it all!

Barmaid put in a great shift

Cucumber water to keep you hydrated  The scene so typically London.

Calm before the lunchtime storm

#SquadGoals (as we kids say)

Upstream, downstream, all around stream.

Looking the other way.

Wasn't this the title of an 80's Sex Comedy?

I thought Aoliti was pasta and Romilly was near Manchester.  The scene so typically London II

Me and Father BRAPA said farewell to our friends, who were trying to cross Barnes Bridge or something to get nearer Brentford as they were going to the game, a sensible decision perhaps?  We'd see. 

We walked back across the subway, past the 'Spoons into the tranquil leafy side streets of Hammersmith proper for our third and final pub in the area.

As we approached for the traditional 'outdoor photo', a red shorted bloke who was trying to be a proper geezer, "givin' it large" on his dog n bone whilst wheeling his dick van (Dyke = Bike, new cockney rhyming slang)  around suddenly panicked and tried to get out of shot, but too late .....

1522 / 1492.  Andover Arms, Hammersmith

Again, it was quiet enough to appreciate the attractive old pub interior that this place possessed.  As the GBG says, it feels kind of rural, and although this might sound strange, in the back room to the left with the hearth (sadly not lit) and rug, it reminded me slightly of Hark to Bounty in Slaidburn the previous week.  One thing which wasn't quiet early on were my black and orange stripey trousers, and the barmaid looked rather terrified of them as we walked in and I got the drinks in.  But a few reassuring smiles were aimed at convincing her I wasn't a madman.    Red shorts bloke plus one other had also appeared, unhelpfully dotting their unattended pints around the room, so when Dad returned from the loo, he wondered which pint was his, the answer being neither.  The Pride was drinking well as we sat in the back room, until rather inexplicably, very loud piped Lady Gaga sprang into action, destroying the atmosphere in one cruel blow!  Piped music very rarely helps any pub, but this loud at this time of day just seemed crazy.  I wouldn't have even known it was Gaga unless my 'Shazam' App hadn't done the necessary.   Time to leave then, the Hammer(smith) had fallen but it was more Lady O'Gaga by the end!

Trousers that disturbed the barmaid

Barmaid looking disturbed by above trousers

Our lovely little seating area

Fruity bloke in the gents

Another great view of the pub (pre-Gaga)

Of course, with no football, great chance to get my six pub quota for the day.  I can't remember much about it so join me for an altogether vaguer blog tomorrow night!  

Si

BRAPA - Only Fools & Witches : More Tales from East Lancs

Colne's strange Only Fools theme running through their real ale pubs is an interesting quirk of the GBG

Halfway through our Saturday, and it was a speedy retreat in the Father-BRAPA-mobile, away from touristy Pendle to take us to our 4th pub.  Barrowford seemed a happy little village, it had one of those special upmarket Booth's supermarkets that you have to be a North Western paisley fan to fully appreciate, and a quick calculation told Dad we could park up, enjoy 27.5 minutes in our next pub without getting clamped or a ticket.

1517 / 2487.  Bankers Draft, Barrowford

A former obscure Lancs bank that got swallowed up by some evil bigger chain bank (hardly Yorkshire bank is it darling?), 'ey up, I didn't realise this was a Micropub!' I thought, as we walked in.  Not many micropubs can boast a feeling of  central heating, a smell of ancient old building, or a group of ladies gathered around the bar discussing "Witherspoons" so this was already an above average micro before we'd so much as got sat down.   With a hint of hesitation, I ordered a a beer from Revolutions called Switch #13.  "They do lots of Switch beers with different numbers, all different hops you see, this one is New Zealand!" beersplained a ruddy faced friendly old bloke and I made a noise of agreement out of my nostrils as if to say "real ale eh?  What a fascinating thing it is!" (I was more concerned about lack of 'top up' really.   On a trip to the loo, Dad was followed in by the barmaid for extra peril, "don't mind me!" she says, pouring a load of beer down the sink (oi, I could've been topped up with that!)  It affected him greatly as he came back confused, and asked if we'd always been sat in this seat!  Yes, luckily I had photo to prove it.  The spirit of Child Okeford was very much alive as I returned from the loo to find Dad had now moved our pints, bags and coats to a different table, pretending we'd always been sat there, WHAT A JOKER!  Even the couple at the next table played along.  Evil.

I felt like it had been tough driving for Dad so far today, so instead of getting up on yet another winding road up to Barnoldswick, we just continued along the more simple route to Colne.

There are three pubs in the GBG but Colne does have a railway station at least so I wasn't too concerned about getting them all done.  Funny thing is Colne, all the pubs have an Only Fools & Horses theme with a 'Lord Rodney', 'Boycies Barrel', 'Wallace Hartley' (probably a guest character), almost certainly an Albert or at least an Uncle Albert's Beard & Craft House.  And with the Del Boy Drinker, Cassandra Cask and Trigger Tap due to open in 2020, the future is bright.

Anyway, here we were .......

If you can work out these opening times, you're better than me!

1518 / 2488.  Admiral Lord Rodney, Colne

This was one of those instant classics where you walk in to mosaics, stained glass, posh tiling, a grand staircase, a bar in the main area with side rooms off in various directions.  Kind of reminiscent of something like the Swan in York or the Lamb in Eccles, or Three Pigeons in Halifax, or many more I'm sure you can think of better than me!  Point is, they are nearly always up north though I've still never pub ticked in Slough, which perhaps has plenty of similar examples, I just don't know.  Location wise, it felt like it was a bit out on a limb, away from main part of town so very much a locals local, and felt we were being kept an eye on a bit, hmmm, well until a lady at the bar announced she was thinking of going to Costa Rica, which was met with the kind of enthusiasm that's normally saved for a pregnancy announcement, so perhaps they just wanted to get rid of her.  But 5 pints in, never at my most observant so can't remember anything else that happened, but in a pub like this, it probably did!  

Even Martin was looking a bit worse for wear by now!

Sign in gents lacking serious levels of wokeness (#WokeSi2019)

I'd managed to twist Dad's arm to get one more in before home time, as long as I stuck to a fairly quick drinking schedule.  It didn't help that despite being a huge pub called RED LION with RED LION written in big letters across the front, and a picture of a RED LION on the side, and being on RED LION street, we drove past it twice before we eventually saw it at the far end of the village down what felt like this never ending road.

Nor did it help that my phone went into video mode, making the next shot a painstaking experience .....

It's not blurry, it is just your eyes

1519 / 2489.  Red Lion, Earby

And this sense of being slowed down continued as we entered the pub to the left hand bar (as per BRAPA rules) but just could not get the barmaid's attention who was too busy chatting to the locals swarming around the left hand bar.  If only there was a bell to ring!  (Well, there was, we just didn't see it) so we finally gave up and wandered around, hurdling dog leads, retainers and zimmerframes to squeeze in at the bar.  Not that the the barmaid wasn't apologetic, it just felt it didn't need to be this difficult!  I took my (very good) Hobsons back round to the quieter left, where a cute twog (so an actually dog then) fussed around us, probably only cos we had snacks in our bag, and in the midst of all this mayhem, I'd failed to notice Martin the Owl had got himself a Carling.  Naughty owl!  Does have a tendency to go "off message" when he's had a few.  The day started as it had begun in Slaidburn, with Dad highlighting the GBG entry and reading the description.  "traditional country local in delightful village setting ..... warn and friendly welcome awaits you ..... on cold days cosy lounge heated with woodburner ...."  Hmmmm, well we wondered if perhaps, in Adlington / Waddington style, there might be another Red Lion elsewhere in Earby (Dad did even suggest there might be another Earby on a previous trip!) as despite not being a bad pub, the description just didn't fit! 

Hobsons, J20 and Carling (aren't we a mixed bunch!)

Doggy, not Twoggy

Ok Martin, we get it, stop trying to be controversial! 

But overall, a superb day.  Those pubs, especially the first two at Slaidburn and Waddington will be remembered for quite some time.  Next up, I need to tell you what happened in West London the following weekend.  Not that I made any notes apart from "Lady Gaga ruins Andover" so more on that tomorrow! 

Si

BRAPA - Forest of Proper Bo'Land

These East Lancs barmaids have let themsleves go

Ow do! 

Two days to recover from that liver shattering 30 pub holiday in Dorset probably wasn't enough, but when your kind father is offering to drive you around some of East Lancs more rural GBG outposts, I was never going to say "no, I think I'll stay at home with a cold compress to the head and cucumber slices on the old eyes". 

Also, I was making my 'radio debut' on BBC Solent (why would you want to listen to any other station?) on Monday morning so was nervous and needed a distraction!

We'd been inspired by our outer Blackburn day, classics like Pendleton, Whalley and the like had been one of the best pre-match sessions ever.  Today, thanks to Millwall's cup exploits (which ironically had included beating us), we didn't have a league game today so perfect opportunity to get deep into Witch Country.  

Before Dad arrived, I popped down to my local B&M store to get a pictorial clue for our first pub....

Scarier than Scary Spice

Of course, me being me, I cheekily pushed the boundaries well beyond simple "outer Burnley" and after some winding painstaking country lanes, dirt tracks, dodgy bridges, near tractor collisions and breath taking scenery, we dropped into the small village of Slaidburn for pub number one, feeling quite sorry for Dad, as Martin Taylor hadn't endured anything close to this traumatic even around Gussage, Sixpenny and those mystical North Dorset places.  

1514 / 2484. Hark to Bounty, Slaidburn

Even on the GBG map (turn to page 239 in your 2019 copybooks), Slaidburn looks very much 'out on its own' and it felt it!  A very friendly barmaid brought us over some ale but then, in what we call the 'Leighton Bromswold conundrum', didn't take payment for it, leading me to optimistically think this was a nice goodwill gesture cos she knew I was a pub ticker who deserves loadsa freebies, but the more pragmatic Dad kept a tenner on the table in case she returned, so it didn't look like we were being dishonest! Perhaps she'd opened a tab assuming we'd be eating.  That's what people do in places like this, right?  Although the pub wasn't multi-roomed, it was divided into smaller areas (if that makes sense) and we sat near a lovely roaring fire good as both beer and temperature were quite chilly!  If it didn't already feel ancient, on highlighting the GBG entry in the customary green Stabilo Boss, Dad noticed the line "ask for the key to see the old courtroom on the first floor" line, so did (wasn't locked anyway).  Wow, well pub is residential too and in amongst guest rooms, those incredible untouched fusty smelling room, you could feel the ghosts of yesteryear in the dock, wonderful, not sure I'd want to stay in that guest room at the end and have to walk through here in the depths of night looking for the loo! Oh, and Bounty was actually a twog.  His master could hear his distinctive bark above all the other hounds, the kind of boast that probably impressed Slaidburn folk back in the day.  A gem to start the day, and yes, we did pay on the way out!

Father BRAPA, how do you plead?

Ticking in the early morning sun

A classic 'first pub of the day' scene

"Doubt we'll find a better pub all day!" I said to Dad as we walked around the corner to the car, as another tractor appeared from nowhere to nearly mow us down.  

Our next pub was due South, just outside Clitheroe, and a good job we weren't planning to go into Clitheroe too as the road was closed.  Initially confused by a nearby Marston's called the Upper or Higher Buck, this was a real lesson in 'make sure you go to the right pub', something I'm very conscious of for when I go to Adlington which has two Spinners Arms, one GBG listed, one not!

1515 / 2485.  Lower Buck, Waddington

Well, we were being spoiled this morning!  Another stone built old fashioned classic, the main feature of which seemed to be the stained glass depictions of both red and white roses.  Dad had already said "oh wow, what a lovely pub this is" about 15 times as we ordered our Bowlandy ales when he commented on the roses, and the landlord, a real proper Lancs guv'nor of a bloke (friendly but you wouldn't mess with him!) told us the pub used to technically be in Yorkshire.  Hard to believe when you see how far into Lancs it seems now, the county border must've been all over the shop!  He even said he gets plenty of comments about it, and it is usually the Yorkshire folk who are idiots, which doesn't surprise me, even though I'd just admitted that's where we were from.  Then, a young barmaid who looked about 18 started her shift.  She was called Betty,  incredible, was like watching an Agatha Christie TV adaptation where glamorous young ladies are called things like Ethel and Winnie.  "I think I even prefer this pub to the last one!" said Dad.  "So do I, but why is this?" I asked.  We decided it was just a bit more 'together', Slaidburn had been a bit sprawling, but this felt more homely and pubby yet still with a strong sense of history, haunted courtroom or not! 

Next, it was back to (relative) civilisation, if you can call anything near Burnley civilised which of course you can't.  Not before we'd stopped in the car to have a munch on our sandwiches, but this weird old bloke with a sour faced wife pulled up behind us, knocked on the window, and says "I errrrm thought you might be errrm moving on soon so we can errrm  park here?"  Who does that?  Feeling we could no longer relax into our cheese & onion rolls, we moved on.      

The roads got no easier as we circled Pendle Hill, where we'd come on a family holiday and watched Born and Bred pub/wedding scenes being filmed in a place called Downham.  In fact, we nearly ran over Michael French, that would've been a highlight of BRAPA-esque proportions.  

By Roughlee, there was that many cones out, cars parked up, cyclists and walkers, we initially thought there must be some special event on, but as time went on, we realised this was probably just a standard touristy Saturday for those witch and Pendle lovers.  The weather was very spring like, which I guess helped. We basically had to fight our way into the pub! 

Dad seems pleased we've arrived at last!

1516 / 2486.  Pendle Inn, Barley

We were very lucky really, even though we (especially Dad) would probably end up declaring this the poorest pub experience, we got a seat, and quite a prime one at that!  In fact it was so dining led on our visit, a lesser NW place (cough cough Clarence in Bury, cough cough Arden Arms Stockport #NeverForget ) may have tried to 'move us on' to a stool at the bar, outside, staircase or the like.  By the end, you could feel those eyes on you so not the most relaxing of experiences!   Staff in here were very attentive, hard working, guess they had to be, as some tattooed bikers came in and ordered that most bikery of options, chicken goujons, which a quick glance to my right told me was hidden Harley Davidson code for "I'm gonna kick yer head in if you photograph me, BRAPA".   The ale, all very Marstons, was Hobgoblin Gold, always a good one I find, and apart from a group of about 100 old people sat on the wall outside trying to break some wall-sitting world record, that was about it! 

If you change the lyrics of "10 green bottles" to "100 old codgers" it's quite satisfying

Fire three out of three

It was never this quiet, from what I can recall! 

We'd reached the halfway point of the day, but still three to do (if I could persuade Dad to stay out a bit longer than he'd probably like!) but we needed to escape Pendle for some more peaceful pub choices.  More on that in tomorrow's blog.

Farwell for now, Si 

BRAPA - February Review / March Preview (2019)

Life of the pub ticker #1

52 new Good Beer Guide pubs visited in the month of February, my third highest monthly return ever, and even more impressive considering it was a 28 day month with just the four Saturdays. 

Of course, 30 pubs on an epic holiday in the wholly rewarding county of Dorset made the difference.  Finishing Cambridgeshire back on the 2nd Feb in the wonderful Woolpack in the Stanground area of Peterborough seems a long long time ago, in fact I've heard the pub has since closed, which is sad if true! 

Still not caught up on my blogs, I have 'six pub Saturdays' in Lancs and London to write up, which I'll crack on with this evening.  The standard of pubs and beer was above average, better than what I experienced in Jan on the whole.  Hard to pick just three highlights out of 52, but here goes ......

1. Vine Inn, Pamphill
2. Ship Inn, Shaftesbury
3. Lower Buck, Waddington

Tonnes of honourable mentions, was great to get to the Square and Compass in Worth Matravers, the last of the 'fantastic five' I still had to do and a little cracker.  As was the Dove in Hammersmith, another deservedly famous pub, I think we fell lucky on our visit too.  Hark to Bounty at Slaidburn is quite magical, and Corfe Castle Club served the best pint (Tim Taylor Landlord) I've had so far in 2019 and that is a lot of pints!  Oh, and don't forget both the Bull Inn and Wee Howff in Paisley, both crackers in their own different ways.

Worst pub experiences of the month?  Not many in contention but oh go on then!

1. Arnos Arms, Arnos Grove
2. Firkin Shed, Bournemouth
3.  Green Man, Wimborne

It might not be an accurate representation of the finished product, but I saw what may have been the first glimpse of the 2020 Good Beer Guide, good timing as today, 1st March, kind of marks the "half way point" in 2019 GBG ticking........

To me, it'd be quite a departure from how GBG's have looked for years now, probably most like the classic 1980 design.  But to me, looks more like a Wisden Cricketers' Alamanack, so if a TWAMRA printing faux-pas means that Roger Protz gets voted one of the five Cricketers of the Year, remember where you heard it first!

Life of the pub ticker #2 (by Ken Pyne from the 1987 GBG)

So, what is in store for March then?  Well, I'm quite excited really because it marks the start of Derbyshire, seeing as Cambs is now complete, Dorset is progressing nicely, Cornwall is a 'once yearly special' and Cumbria is quite frankly too terrifying to contemplate just yet.   And don't even mention bloody Devon! 

I've actually visited 35 Derbyshire GBG entries already as part of other trips, football away days, gigs and the like.  Most of those are in Derby or Chesterfield, also done Glossop,  a good chunk of the Hope Valley, outer Chesterfield, and even Repton in the south.   But tomorrow marks the 'official' start and I hope to have it done by the end of the year.  

Classic CAMRA types in the Brunswick, Derby, on a previous visit

As well, I hope to get back to Derbys on 16th and 23rd but no specifics on what areas exactly yet. But knowing me, I'll try and follow some kind of alphabetical logic!  

Staying in the East Midlands, there'll be an away day at Nottingham Forest on 9th so I'm thinking this area called Beeston which has 3 GBG entries, plus a visit to an old favourite in Nottingham itself as it is a friend's birthday.  

There'll be a bonus midweek trip to Norwich where I have approximately a zillion GBG pubs still to do despite many previous trips there, and the month concludes with a rare County Durham NFFD day.  

So all in all, I think a pub a day (31) has to be the target,  I'll also try and get back to Friday evening local ticking in Yorkshire but only when I'm up to date on writing my blogs! 

Pub life in Chesterfield on a previous visit in 2017

So yeh, I think that is it for now.  Oh yes, 5th April will mark the 5th anniversary of BRAPA so I'll be doing something 'special' for that.     Happy weekends all!  

Si